changes afoot

Oh, my, how things have changed. Good changes, all of them, but my head is spinning from the differences I keep finding, and the differences still to come.

First of all, I am gestating, which is my slightly uncomfortable way of saying that I'm pregnant with my first child. Even though I've known that I wanted children since I was about 13, and even though I've spent the last few years intensely physically longing to have a child, I find myself often terrified by the fact that in October I am going to be responsible for another human being. I'm also not enjoying the physical experience of pregnancy; none of my symptoms are unusual or noteworthy or (thank goodness) dangerous, but I'd somehow thought I'd like being pregnant, and (so far, at least) I really don't.

It'll be nice when I get to the part where I can feel the baby move and perhaps start to realise more than intellectually that there's going to be a payoff at the end of all of this.

Secondly... will have to wait for tomorrow, as dishes and laundry and exhaustion have caught up with me.